You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
