yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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