i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
