are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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