so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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