in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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