then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I smell like Dick and happiness
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
