I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
