How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
