I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i think i just lost a toe
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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