im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
