The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
