No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
