Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
