he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
