All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
