He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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