saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
