Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
