love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
