who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
