She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
