First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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