I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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