My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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