You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
