Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
