note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
