Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
