Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
