Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
