Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
