Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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