I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
