So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
