drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
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