Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
