pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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