Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
