with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
