I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
