I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
