broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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