def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
