you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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