he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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