hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's just like the Real World with babies
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
