i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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