matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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