So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
